There was a time when I asked my parents that how can they tell anybody, whose relative died, who they do not know properly that we are so sorry for your loss and that the person who died was a very good or important person.

Now that I am few years older, I can understand their condition. I will explain my feelings by using some of my experiences.

A couple of weeks ago my van fellow told me that she had been absent in the last week because of her father's death. In response I looked at her once and then bent by head down. I felt burden all over my chest. I couldn't breathe easily. I then lift up  my head and looked at others who were listening. I met there gaze. At that moment I wanted to condole. I wanted to tell her that how sorry I was for her loss, but no words came. My mouth was dry. Usually I am  very talkative but at that time I could say nothing. The strength that she was showing was looking like a weakness to me. When I see strong people in these circumstances I think that I don't know how hard they are trying right know. Like if I'll break them if I will say something.

A few months back, I came to know that my class fellows mother died. When she came back to university I had to condole her. I went to her. I though of appropriate words, but there were no words. I just  lightly touched her shoulder and said 'I feel sad about your mother's death'.

I feel sorrow because now I can fully realize how important a family is. I love my family and I realize that as I am growing my parents are also aging. Now I feel the pain others are facing. Condolence has been recommended in my religion.

So please take care of your parents, you grand parents, and your brothers and sisters. Love them.

Reading, a tool for reducing stress!

I am going to recommend reading for stress reduction. I have used it to cure and reduce my stress in past couple of weeks. I was like madly searching for novels, and I completed like 9 novels, 3 days at max  for each. To me reading novels keeps your mind busy. People say that reading mostly  pleasurable novels is helpful, but sometimes reading depressive novels can lead you into thinking that your problems are much smaller than the problems of the charcters of these books.

According to research done at Sussex university, reading, even for six minutes, can reduce stress effectively. Psychologists believe this is because the human mind has to concentrate on reading and the distraction of being in a literary world eases the tensions in muscles and the heart. The research was carried out on a group of volunteers by consultancy Mindlab International at the University of Sussex.Their stress levels and heart rate were increased through a range of tests and exercises before they were then tested with a variety of traditional methods of relaxation.Reading worked best, reducing stress levels by 68 per cent. Dr Lewis, who conducted the test, said: "Losing yourself in a book is the ultimate relaxation. "This is particularly poignant in uncertain economic times when we are all craving a certain amount of escapism. "It really doesn't matter what book you read, by losing yourself in a thoroughly engrossing book you can escape from the worries and stresses of the everyday world and spend a while exploring the domain of the author's imagination. "This is more than merely a distraction but an active engaging of the imagination as the words on the printed page stimulate your creativity and cause you to enter what is essentially an altered state of consciousness." Studies reveal that listening to music reduces stress,  having cup of tea of coffee lower it  by 54 per cent and taking a walk by 42 per cent.

Stop and ponder

Sitting in the class where we were talking about religions a memory awakened in my mind. In order to make me understand that why do we need religion, my mother used to tell me when I was a child that whenever we buy a machine we are given a manual with it which explains how the machine works and what it can do, In the same way God is our Manufacturer and He has given us religion, and therefore a guide of how to spent our lives. We are made above all organisms because our brains not only process information, but also the ability to gain knowledge. Just because we have such a brain we go on in our lives and try to destroy nature. Just another day I was sitting in my geology class and my teacher, in a very light mood, said that an earthquake is nothing more than the relaxation of earth. This made me think of how trivial we are against all the things made by God. We cannot save ourselves from fire, water, earthquakes, volcanic eruption etc, not even from a mosquito with only one leg (I am referring to the death of the infidel Namrood by a one legged mosquito).  We are so trivial things and yet so proud of ourselves. We say that stars are not ever existing entities and they are continuously loosing energy. Why don’t we remember that our sun is also a star and is going to burn out someday? Like all things, the solar system will die.

We all know these things yet we behave like we own this world. We fight, we gamble, we put our elders into old houses, we lie, we cheat, we back bite, we make fun of others, we bully others, we hurt the people who love us and we do so many things that we can not even list them. We have very little time in our lives which is given to us so that we can please our God by doing good deeds. Good deeds not  only include  praying, but they also include helping others, being honest, following the rules, taking care of old people, taking care of the poor, helping others, etc.

We all aim to be a doctor, engineer, environmentalist, lawyer, G.M,  to be famous, to have a big car and lots and lots of money, but what we do not aim is to be a better person. When we do our daily routine by keeping it in mind that we want to please God and help His creations, then all the work that we do in our daily routine becomes a prayer.

Thinking Environmentally!

As I have told before, I am a student of Environmental Sciences. I chose this field more out of chance than choice. But with time I have started to think environmentally!



So true:-P

This picture shows that I have started thinking like an environmentalist. Really, it's just been 2.3 million years since human life began and look at the damage we have done already. We have intervened with everything. If ethicist say that all our policies are anthropocentric, then yes we are selfish. People throw the rappers in an area without laws for environmental protection, but where there are laws they act like the most civilized people. It was shocking to know that we are eliminating species at the rate of one specie per hour. This rate is alarming. We care about species that are not even known because their extinction can cause problem in evolution processes. Ecosystem has an intricate balance which  needs to be maintained.
We have to think about environment because nature is a gift. We cannot create replicas of nature. Due to ozone layer depletion our atmosphere is having dangerous effects. Global warming is also a very harmful phenomenon. By pollute freshwater we are lessening the 2% available water we have. We have to think before it is too late.
Here are a few things which can protect environment:
1. Every person should plant 1 tree in his or her   life.
2. Water use should be managed properly. Donot waste 2 gallons of water to brush teeth:-p.
3. Electricity should be used sustainably.
4. Food should be used in order to satisfy need rather than wants.
5. Air conditioners should be used at minimum  so that further depletion of ozone layer can be stopped.
5. Detergents should be avoided and eco friendly products should be used.
6. Use of nonrenewable resources such as fossil fuel should be done at minimum.

This blog is the forum where I can put forward whatever I think about life and that is why I love it.
 I came home by flight a couple of days ago. This journey always makes me ponder about the reality of life. When we are in our home, we think that we will never forget it or be confuse about it, but when we go to some other place it becomes very difficult for us to imagine the moments that passed while we were at home. One may imagine them, but when imagined these places look like a dream. Sometimes when I am at some place I try to look at everything very carefully so that I can imagine everything as it is later on without any confusion, but I never succeed to visualize it as a reality and not as a dream. Sometimes I also feel bad about this feeling, but then I think that it is a gift from God Almighty. The reason for calling it a gift is that we cannot live our present without leaving our past. Forgetting leads one to learning something new.
Maybe some of you don't agree with me but this is what I could made out of my experience.

Conflict Management Styles Quiz 

Source: Reginald (Reg) Adkins, PhD, Elemental Truths 

http://elementaltruths.blogspot.com/2006/11/conflict-management-quiz.html 

We each have our own way of dealing with conflict. The techniques we use are based on many variables such as our basic underlying temperament, our personality, our environment and where we are in our professional career. However, by and large there are five major styles of conflict management techniques in our tool box. In order to address conflict we draw from a collaborating, competing, avoiding, harmonizing or compromising style of management. None of these strategies is superior in and of itself. How effective they are depends on
the context in which they are used.

Each statement below provides a strategy for dealing with a conflict. Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 4
indicating how likely you are to use this strategy.
1 = Rarely 2 = Sometimes 3 = Often 4 = Always
Be sure to answer the questions indicating how you would behave rather than how you think you should
behave.
 1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone’s needs. _______
 2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations. _______
 3. I try to meet the expectations of others. _______
 4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view. _______
 5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep the
 lines of communication open. _______
6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon
as possible. _______
7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What does the other person
Need? What are the issues involved? _______
 8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on. _______
 9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows. _______
10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. _______
11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family. _______
12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right. _______
13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway. _______
14. I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to pay for keeping the peace. _______
15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself. _______

How to score the Conflict Management Quiz: 
As stated, the 15 statements correspond to the five conflict resolution styles. To find your most preferred style,
total the points in the respective categories. The one with the highest score indicates your most commonly used
strategy. The one with the lowest score indicates your least preferred strategy. However, if you are a leader
who must deal with conflict on a regular basis, you may find your style to be a blend of styles.
Style Corresponding Statements: Total:
Collaborating: 1, 5, 7 _______
Competing: 4, 9, 12 _______
Avoiding: 6, 10, 15 _______
Harmonizing: 3, 11, 14 _______
Compromising: 2, 8, 13 _______
Brief Descriptions of the Five Conflict Management Styles 
Collaborating Style: Problems are solved in ways in which an optimum result is provided for all involved.
Both sides get what they want and negative feelings are minimized.
Pros: Creates mutual trust; maintains positive relationships; builds commitments.
Cons: Time consuming; energy consuming.
Competing Style: Authoritarian approach.
Pros: Goal oriented; quick.
Cons: May breed hostility.
Avoiding Style: The non-confrontational approach.
Pros: Does not escalate conflict; postpones difficulty.
Cons: Unaddressed problems; unresolved problems.
Harmonizing Style: Giving in to maintain relationships.
Pros: Minimizes injury when we are outmatched; relationships are maintained.
Cons: Breeds resentment; exploits the weak.
Compromising Style: The middle ground approach.
Pros: Useful in complex issues without simple solutions; all parties are equal in power.
Cons: No one is ever really satisfied; less than optimal solutions get implemented.

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